More to Me Than HIV

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More to Me Than HIV

First published in Gscene July 2020 For last years World AIDS Day I put together a public project of work joining other people living with an HIV+ diagnoses at Jubilee library.For last years World AIDS Day I put together a public project of work joining other people living with an HIV+ diagnoses at Jubilee library. For the project I spoke openly about my journey having being           Read more

More to Me Than HIV: GScene post Aug 2020

More to Me Than HIV is a project that aims to breakdown the stigma that has historically been attached to this virus.  When I saw my piece in last months Gscene to promote the More to Me Than HIV project, I was extremely proud, but a small part of me was filled with anxiety; but why should I feel this way? I have been on effective antiretroviral therapy since the Read more

More to Me Than HIV: first published in GScene July 2020

For last years World AIDS Day I put together a public project of work joining other people living with an HIV+ diagnoses at Jubilee library. For the project I spoke openly about my journey having being             diagnosed HIV+ 32 years previous. Back then there was no treatment and a lot of fear and misinformation concerning how HIV was transmitted. As such stigma was rife, Read more

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More to Me Than HIV

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Combating Stigma: More To Me Than HIV.

First published in Gscene Aug 2020

More to Me Than HIV is a project that aims to breakdown the stigma that has historically been attached to this virus. 

When I saw my piece in last months Gscene to promote the More to Me Than HIV project, I was extremely proud, but a small part of me was filled with anxiety; but why should I feel this way? I have been on effective antiretroviral therapy since the early 1990s, but having lived through the period before there was any treatment, watching friends die of AIDS, or from the toxicity of early medication AZT, those memories of uncertainty can still creep in and unnerve. 

With this in mind, I can imagine that for the group of people who HIV has not had a significant impact on their lives, when they hear the words HIV or AIDS they will recall the time when the only information out there was AIDS = Death, which was only compounded by the tabloid press who went above and beyond in spreading misinformation about how HIV could be transmitted. Perhaps because HIV is not part of their lives, this is their recall on what HIV is still about. It is this misunderstanding that perpetuates HIV stigma and one that needs to stamped out with re-education. 

The one thing that stops many people being open about their HIV status is the stigma, stigma that comes from outdated ideas about what HIV is and how it can be passed on. 

Let me make this perfectly clear, people living with an HIV+ diagnoses who are on an effective antiretroviral therapy cannot pass the virus on, put simply: Undetectable = Untransmittable.

People living with HIV, on effective treatment can expect to get older and get on with living their lives. Not that living with HIV doesn’t have a whole set of challenges, but having an HIV diagnoses should not be the defining thing about us, we are so much more than those three little letters and that is what is at the core of this project. 

We understand that to speak openly about our HIV+ status may be an uncomfortable step to make, but it is through this project we feel we can break down the stigma associated with HIV by showing that we are not ashamed by our status, it is something we live with but that is not a label that defines who we are. Through this photo project we will show that we are: determined, resilient, funny and capable, we are chefs, beauticians, builders, mother’s, fathers, grandparents, artists, listeners, musicians, carers, writers and so the list goes on. So for those living with HIV, we ask you to show us who you are beyond your HIV status; check out the website moretomethanhiv.life, upload three photos, one portrait of yourself and two photos that show another part of what make you, you, along with three, positive, descriptive words. Together we can combat HIV+ stigma and resign it to the history books where it belongs.

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More to Me Than HIV

First published in Gscene July 2020

For last years World AIDS Day I put together a public project of work joining other people living with an HIV+ diagnoses at Jubilee library.For last years World AIDS Day I put together a public project of work joining other people living with an HIV+ diagnoses at Jubilee library.

For the project I spoke openly about my journey having being             diagnosed HIV+ 32 years previous. Back then there was no treatment and a lot of fear and misinformation concerning how HIV was transmitted. As such stigma was rife, which caused me to not be vocal about my status outside of the safety of those HIV+ forums and groups.

I felt empowered by talking about my own HIV+ status at my place of work and was moved by those who spoke so eloquently and openly about living with an HIV+ diagnoses. Straight after the project had finished, I knew I wanted to build on what we had collectively presented.

From here the same team came on board and collectively we have shaped this years visual presentation for World AIDS Day 2020.

The photo project is called, More to Me than HIV; it’s main purpose is to help breakdown the stigma that many people living with an HIV+ diagnoses experience. The project will culminate in an online public gallery as well as a physical exhibition of photographs at Jubilee library and a selection of branch libraries across Brighton and Hove who are supporting the project by allowing us to use the space free of charge

We are inviting people from all communities, gay, straight, BAME and transgender, who are living with HIV to submit three photos: one self portrait, (format, vertical), and two other photos (cropped, squared to fit beside your portrait photo) These two images must convey other aspects of what makes you, you; from a hobby, your career or passion.

Please send three empowering words to accompany the images. We will format and add these to the partite image. 

Submissions will be exhibited on our online public gallery, which we will launch a week before World AIDS Day as part of the national HIV+ testing week.

From these submissions we will choose a cross section of 30 entries to make up our libraries exhibition. When submitting your photos, there will be an option to opt out of this part of the project and to have your images online only. 

From the 30 entires we would like to invite you to write  300 words (100 words for each image) to give further context to the images and what it means then we say there’s more to me than HIV. 

The team behind the project understand there be a lot of questions  participants want to ask which we will strive to answer via the website, here are a few that may come to mind.

Can I be assured of confidentiality?

Yes, we live with or are affected by HIV ourselves and recognise the importance of confidentiality. For example, when you subscribe to our email list, you don’t have to give your name, we only use it to politely address you.

How do I submit photos, which format should I use and size?

Send your photos by email to the webpage address, there will also be easy to follow details of what format and size we would like you to use.

How do you approve images?

We reserve the right not to use images that break any UK law, contain any hateful or obscene content, or are too small to represent on our platform without distorting the image.

What if I don’t want to be identified?

We will not attach any name to the portraits for the project. You may choose not to show your whole face in the portraits, however, we would like to encourage you to combat stigma by being visible.

I’d like to take part, but I’m uneasy as I’m not out about my HIV Status?

We recognise that choosing when and who to disclose your his positive status to can be difficult, as we have been there ourselves. You may want to choose this project as part of your disclosure strategy to show others how diverse we are. Being pictured with others may be of comfort to you, as you are not alone. 

If you would like to speak to an HIV positive Peer Support Volunteer, the Sussex offers a one to one bespoke service to help you stand with you on your journey.

Our website will be updated throughout the project as more questions come in so please do check the website. We look forward to seeing your images as we all stand together and say, there is so much more to name than HIV.

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World AIDS Day Event 2019

CF10EA0F-6CC9-4E72-AD82-DC10AE866B99_1_201_aIt was with some trepidation that I decided to put together a Project for World AIDS day at Jubilee library, my place of work. I knew from the onset that I wanted the event to be as visual as possible to get a bigger reach as possible. My thinking behind this had been that if someone saw a leaflet about HIV/AIDS most people who HIV was not part of their lives would walk by, but if there was something of visual interest to catch their eye, then a conversation could be built on from there. Eric Page organised to have the Brighton Hankie Quilt hung in the main window of the library, Romany Mark Bruce kindly loaned us a miniature replica of his famous AIDS memorial statue, Tay and the David Fray put together a video highlighting the history of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Brighton, along with Romany’s journey in creating Tay. For my part I has intended to recreate a project that had run at Jubilee library before called, Living Library, where individuals living with HIV would sit in the library and members of the public could sit with them and hear their story. On the day my part of the event was set up in the Community Space at the back of the library along. Th space was set up for members of the public to join invited guests to talk about their experience of living with HIV.  On elf the star speakers on the day was a woman called Sue from Positive Voices. Sue spoke out positively about living with HIV in a way I knew I wanted too. I found the event very empowering, but knew I was still anxious about speaking openly about my HIV+ status. This become extremely apparent to me when a television reporter from Meridian TV asked if I would speak to the camera. I calmed up and became so unsure about myself, I was happy to spaek to the people who had come to the library, but could don’t bring myself to broadcast such news to a wider public. Thankfully one of the people who came and talked stepped in.

After the event I was so pleased with how collectively we had been part of the wider collective HIV organisations who put on events throughout Brighton to remind people that HIV is a still an issue that needs to be talked about.

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HIV Hero

First published in GScene Nov 2018

THINKING about the AIDS epidemic, many people who made a difference come to mind; from Graham Wilkinson (Sussex AIDS Centre), Father Marcus Riggs (Open Door), and London-based AIDS activist extraordinaire, Cass Mann.

Cass Mann was seen by some as a controversial in his views, particularly at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, where he believed there were Kübler-Ross counsellors telling their HIV+/AIDS patients to prepare for their own imminent death. All of us who lived through this time can vouch for the fact that every week we heard that someone we knew had died. It was a scary time.

In response, Cass set up the organisation Positively Healthy, a title that would become a beaming light for many of those infected and affected by HIV/AIDS.

What you have to understand is that in the mid-1980s the only drug being offered to those living with HIV/AIDS was AZT which, for the majority of people, was too toxic and only hastened their demise. Again, Cass was vilified for saying as much about AZT. It was hard to hear as everyone was desperate for a cure to the nightmare.

Through Positively Healthy, Cass promoted an alternative to the acceptance that AIDS = Death Mantra and advocated a vegetarian diet, holistic therapy and most importantly for those diagnosed with HIV to change their mindset and say, ‘let’s live’. Of course, people still died from AIDS, but others began to realise that their doctor’s advice to “make the next six months count” may have been premature, AIDS didn’t always equal death.

Through his workshops in London, and the amazing week of discovery at Laurieston Hall, a setting that was perfect to spend a week away from the pubs and clubs and television. In Scotland, Cass provided a safe space for HIV+/- gay men to explore, discuss, scream and dance, perform, and be silly.

Many gay men who were part of Positively Healthy will remember just how positively healthy those sessions with Cass were. On the last night, the group would be led into the Scottish woods, where an amazing spiritual ritual allowed us all to let go of bad practices holding us back.

Not everyone agreed with Cass’s philosophy around HIV/AIDS, but It was his commitment to get the Positively Healthy ethos out to as many people as possible and, in turn, help save lives. Sadly, Cass died in April 2009 from Hodgkin’s lymphoma, but his message to live long and live well with an HIV+ diagnosis continues.

In his essay Deadly Counsels: The Necrophiliacs of AIDS, Cass says; “Only have in your life that which supports and celebrates your aims and purposes, and detach immediately from everything that doesn’t.” Wise words that we should all take notice of.

For me, Cass Mann is a much missed voice campaigning for all those touched by HIV and AIDS, so I’ll finish with one of my favourite quotes from Cass: “For all those who have condemned us to die, the following message: LIVING IS THE BEST REVENGE!” 

More information about Cars Mann: cassmannmemorial.wordpress.com

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Saluting the Sissy: Part Two

Saluting the Sissy part 2.

In his book, The Celluloid Closet, Vito Russo highlights how the character of the sissy has been an obsession of the American movies. From the days of silent films the effeminate actions of the sissy had their origins in the vaudeville, where men dressing up in drag was all part of the collective mixture of stage acts. The drag element would quickly full out of fashion in early silent films; the main contribution for this was America movies obsession of the all American, masculine hero and the inevitable need of a foil, the sissy. The role of the Sissy was the emphasise the manliness of the hero while underlining the message, to be female is to be weak, to act effeminate means you are not a real man.
Real men in movies are admired by other men and desired by women and to save the day. The sissy is not allowed any of these tropes. The role of the sissy in movies is to be camp, insignificant, a bit of a joke.
Over time, this idea of what it means to be masculine trickled down into the underground gay scene. A very good example was shown in Quieten Crisp’s autobiography, The Naked Civil Servant. From his teenage years onwards Quieten Crisp made the decision not to hide his homosexuality. This he achieved through wearing make up, hennaing his hair and painting his nails red. Upon entering a 1950’s underground gay bar, Quentin sees everyone is dressed in tuxedos, men dancing with men. As he is to obviously gay, the host tears up Quentin’s membership card, with the clear message, if the place was raided, all the men can act masculine, act straight.
Over the next two decades the sissy would continue to be a fixture in films as the character that women saw as harmless fun and men saw as pests, but importantly echoed their own masculinity through the Sissy’s effeminate ways.
1969 America, the underground bars were filled with sissies, sashaying around, mixing with other groups including, lesbian’s, trans women and male prostitutes knowing that a police raid would be imminent. It is of great importance that we all remember that after another police raid at the Stonewall bar, this group of people had enough and fought back, including the sissy.
It would be great to say that after these raids, after the protest marches for equality that the gay community came together, excepting each other. Instead there was a backlash against the sissy. For many gay men, to be equal meant buying into the idea of what it means to be a man, a fantasy that could be seen on the movie screens. After all, we all know that to be queer in the movies means you will never make it to the final reel.
And so we had the rise of the ultra masculine man, taking notes from the Marlboro Man, to any one of Tom of Finland’s incarnations.
Some sissies scoffed at these images and carried on regardless, while other’s embraced the butch drag. From the 70’s onwards the idea of what it means to be a man has rumbled on, with the sissy being seen as the far end of the benchmark.
Whereas glam rock was seen as a bit un-masculine, it would be the 1980’s UK music scene that really shook things up with the idea of what it meant to be a man.
The tabloids went mad for the music fashion scene that would be coined as, New Romantics. Gender was fluid, what it meant to be masculine was played with, through the style of dress and the new trend to wear make up, even the boys from Village People gave the look a go….
It is without a doubt that the resilience of the sissy to stand up against adversity each and every tim, decade after decade that we witness the evolution of what it means to be a man. Most recently we have seen the New Man, now known as The Hipster, taking care of his appearance, being aware of what it means to treat not only the opposite sex, but all sexes with respect.
Of course there will always be those who think that to be a man they have to act rough and tough, not to show emotions and to dress in a certain way, but equally there are those who are comfortable living their lives at the other end of the spectrum. What we need to understand is that this does not make the sissy any less of a man, being a sissy is no longer an indication of a man’s sexuality, it never was; such ideas were created in the movies. Being a man comes in many different guises, the way we behave should never be taken as an indication of our strength as a loving human being.

Villiage People:5 o’clock in the morning,

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Gay Icons: Saluting the Sissy

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First published in www.gscene.com 01/01/2017:

Happy New Year! If I close my eyes I can take myself right back to living at home with my Nana and Sister, laughing at the campness of the likes of Larry Grayson (Shut that Door) and John Inman (I’m Free!) which we all really loved. As I got a bit older, these two characters where lambasted by right-on gay men, with cries that they did not represent the gay community. My guess was that it was never their intention, they were just being themselves, doing their job. There was further outcry that their characters were deemed safe’ to be on the telly as they were both sexless. I think if anyone bothered to re-watch a few episodes of Larry Grayson’s stand up performances they’d see plenty of sexual innuendo going on with his references to his postman, Pop it In Pete, or his more romantic suggestions with his song, My Friend Everard (get-it?) Is More Then A Friend To Me.th-1
Of course the writers of Our You Being Served and John Inmman both said the character, Mr Humpries wasn’t gay, the gag was the same with Mrs Slocombe was genuinely about her cat each time she mentioned her pussy, to do otherwise was to ruin the magicial nod, nod, wink wink on which the series was famed for. For me, I recognised the gay ellement in John Inman’s character and connected with that. I clearly remember sitting up straight when watching an episode of Are You Being Served, whth-3en John Inman suddenly popped out of a Wendy House, alongside a gorgeous bloke dressed up as a sailor, sporting a black beard…maybe that’s when my fixation with bearded men first began. To me, both these men are gay icons, along with the brilliant Hugh Paddick and Kenneth Williams aka Julian and Sandy (Ohh, how Bona!)

Sure, it would have been great to have a more diverse set of gay characters on the TV/radio but back then, and for a good while after, camp men where the only visible gays out there; the alternative would be guilt ridden stereotypes, I know which ones I prefer.
Another favourite gay icon of mine is Quentin Crisp. When I was eighteen, I saw Crisp’s autobiography TV drama, The Naked Civil Servant in which Crisp describes how he wanted to make his homosexuality, ‘abundantly clear’, by hennaing his hairand painting his nails red, even though such acts made him the target of homophobia. Crisp’s bravery made me all the more determined to be a happy, out, gay man.

Around this time, early 1980’s, there came a new influx of ballsie gay/bi men via the music scene, including: Marc Almond, Boy George, Marilyn, Pete Burns; these guys where ‘out there’ with their looks, but I was really drawn to the likes of Holly Johnson and Paul Rutherford (Frankie Goes to Hollywood) and theth-5 trio from Bronski Beat, Jimmy Someville, Larry Stienbachek and Steve Bronski. Frankie for their sexually explicit lyrics and video for Relax and Bronski Beat for their many unashamedly political gay songs, from Small Town Boy, Why and It Ain’t Necessarily So.th-6 th-7

These musicians may name check, David Bowie as a major influence, but it is the likes of Grayson, Inmanand Crisp who way before them were shaking up the norm, paving the way for other peacocks to shine. However, there’s a section of society both LGBT and straight who find camp men offensive. I recently saw the Play, Boys in The Band  (see clips from the movie) that shows that although we can all be a bit camp, it is very easy to turn on the sissy. I personally salute the sissy, the camp man, the queer. What isn’t right is that there is still very little acknowledgement for these camp men’s (as Ru Paul would say) “Charisma, uniqueness, th-8nerve and talent”. They may not have seen themselves as queer pioneers but without them this world would most certainly be a much less interesting place.

for more camp:The Queens of Camp Comedy

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The Power of a Kiss

thSince time began the emotive power of a kiss has been well documented, from Judas’s betrayal kiss to Jesus, to the emotional pull of Rodin’s world famous sculpture, The Kiss. This simple show of affection continues to be extremely powerful when shared with the wider public, particularly if the kiss is between a couple of the same sex and even more so if the same sex are male. One just has to take a look at the furore caused by the chaste kiss between the two Eastender characters, Colin (Michael Cashman) and Barry (Gary Hailes). This gay kiss was a first for any UK soap opera and caused equal amounts of praise and homophobic abuse from fans of the show. The red top tabloids went into meltdown with headlines like Eastbenders. Since then all the major soaps have included gay characters, reflecting the majority of the public opinion that being gay and showing affection through a kiss is not something to be ashamed of. However, there is still a section of the community who are literally repulsed by the sight of two men kissing; rather predictably two lesbians kissing receives a more titillating response from the tabloids and the majority of those (mostly male) homophobic complainers. Most recently Eastenders introduced a new gay character’s, Danny Pennant and Johnny Carter (played by Gary Lucy and Sam Strike) and once again complaints from viewers came in, however, the amount of complaints was dramatically smaller to those received back in the 1980’s. What is interesting to note is there has apparently been no complaints from viewers of Hollyoaks when they aired there own gay storylines. This has been put down to Hollyoaks having a younger, and perhaps a more enlightened audience fan base. Away from the soaps, John Barrowman’s man on man kiss at the opening of the Commonwealth Games got many of the social media sites buzzing with many people congratulating organisers for including the kiss, which helped highlight the fact that gay marriage is illegal in 42 of the 53 commonwealth counties taking part in the games. Even The Mirror congratulated the games with their online page showing “14 more amazing gay and lesbian snogs” Of course there was the usual backlash from others who were so disgusted that they had turn the television off and go and sit in their shed and fume. Living in Brighton it is easy to forget that there is still so much prevalent homophobia across the UK, and worse anti-gay legisation in the other countries across the world. For this reason alone it is all the more important that high profile, out gay men like Barrowman, show the world the power of the kiss, giving hope to all those who fear to share this simple act of love. John Barrowman’s Commonwealth Kiss

 

 

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Positive Nation, World AIDS Day (2013) Piece.

Please click the link below for my piece for Positive Nation, World AIDS Day, 2013.

 

http://issuu.com/talentmedia/docs/winter2013/13?e=1363912/6713304

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What Do the BrightonWriter and Miley Cyrus Have in Common?

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Read this months Gscene column from the

BrightonWriter to find out…

http://issuu.com/gscene/docs/gscene_jan14 (page 49)

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